I'm searching for something...

I'm searching for something... // -->

Friday, October 31

Gearshift

Three more days and it will be the beginning of my o levels paper. Everything is really moving fast. It's coming before all of you knew. And it will be over soon too. What worries most of us now is, "Will our hardwork pay off?" It's a question whereby nobody can answer until the results is revealed to us. So, why bother asking yourself this? Since you know it's impossible to know everything. At least when you study, that bit of conscience is there that you hadn't let yourself down. Fear not.

I am on gear 3 now i guess. The highway is full of cars and all of them moving in the same direction. We all have a common goal. Very soon you will see that all of us will be on gear 4 and then 5. I am ready. Are you? =)

Everything that has a beginning will have an ending. But each ending would determine the next beginning.

For those of you whom are on the highway now: All the best. Get ready for the real thing and awaits the surprise at the end. =)

A song that i love very much. For all of you. Good nite.

Everyday i love you - Boyzone

I don't know but i believe
That some things are meant to be
And that you'll make a better me
Everyday i love you

I never thought that dreams come true
But you showed me that they do
You know that i learn something new
Everyday i love you

Chorus:
Co'z i believe that destiny is out of our control
(Don't you know that i do)
And you'll never live
Until you love with all your heart and soul

It's a touch when i feel bad
It's a smile when i get mad
All the little things i have
Everyday i love you

Everyday i love you more
Everyday i love you

(Chorus)

If i ask would you say yes
Together we're the very best
I know that i am truly blessed
Everyday i love you

And i'll give you my best
Everyday i love you

Heli Dont ask me why 1:17 AM

Thursday, October 30

TIRED! NEED COFFEE AND TEA! SHUI LAI BAN WO NENG KA FEI? =X

Heli Dont ask me why 4:02 AM

Tuesday, October 28

When a love's one gone...

Those we love remain with us,
for love itself lives on.
And cherished memories never fade because a loved one's gone.

Those we love can never be more than a thought apart.
For as long as there's memory,
they'll live on in the heart.

For you: Hope you're alright.

Heli Dont ask me why 12:21 AM

Monday, October 27

The rider - "Life's a journey. Keep flying and flying. "

The night is beautiful. Stars all beaming in the sky. What a night. I walked down the streets and i caught a fallen star. i said,

"Little star, why are you weeping? and why have you fallen?"

"I have left the sky." I look at the star and held it close to me.

"Don't worry, i will never allow you to leave me."

Among all those pictures, i choose this. Best describe how i am feeling and what i am thinking now. Do you know what i am thinking from the look on my eyes? Can you sense it just from the tone of my voice? Do you know what's up in my head then?

Heli Dont ask me why 1:29 AM

Sunday, October 26

Summer memories

"... good girl... "

Somebody said that to me today. I smiled when i saw that but it slowly fade away. It's been a long while since somebody said that to me. It's been a long while since that person said that to me. Yes, it's none other than my mum. She used to say that to me when i was young then. i recalled that in the past, she used to care for me a lot.. maybe because i was the smallest in the family, and there's this special concern and love. Miss this kind of love a lot. Sounds like i am deprived of love huh? And as i grew older, she kept emphasing the fact that my brother all outshone me. Really hate the way she said and all. And then i thought, her love for them was more than the love for me. Jealousy?

As i think back on the times i shouted at her, my heart really sank deeply. What i am today, is all because of her. The achievements i had in my secondary school life, i didn't do it for myself. You might be surprise, and might not believe that actually i dislike all these. I fought so hard for the sake of showing to her that i am as capable as my brother. I wanted to prove her wrong then. Thinking that i am childish? And when one day she suddenly disappeared, all these appeared meaningless to me. I found myself drowning with questions as to why and what had taken place all these while - It's for her.

It's actually quite pointless to think back of all these especially when i am facing my o levels in about 10 days time. And many of you will be thinking why bother to make myself sad with all these past memories? It isn't that i like to think back, just that it flows in my mind when something remind me of it. It's more than a year and i am coping well with it. Don't worry. I just miss her only.

I often wonder where has she gone to now. A lot of you would whisper to me and say, "she's in paradise", or for those christians you would say, "she's in the hands of God". I hope all of you're right. I hope she's alright. And know she will want me to be alright too.

*To this special person: Just want to let you know whatever you do, wherever you are, if you need a person to scream to, just shout out my name. I am not far. If you're looking at the sky, look out for me. I am shining for the many, and in the many, there's a you. =)

Bie dan xing, wo mei shi. =)

Heli Dont ask me why 2:54 AM

Saturday, October 25

At night i look into the sky,
and see the twinkling stars
i wanted to cry,
coz my happiness seems so far away.

Heli Dont ask me why 12:10 AM

Friday, October 24

Hao Xiang Ku... ='(

Yesterday, some of my classmates and i was outside the bustop. And we were singing some songs and that is when i really feel like crying. It was a touching moment. We let the buses just passed by, we sang the songs out loud. We even sang in the bus. How many more times and moments of these do we have left?

The thought of leaving really suffocates my heart. As i listened to all these songs, i felt like crying all of a sudden. I hate to say goodbye to some of you, there are so many things i can't wait to do together with you. I had so many things to say, but i don't know how to. And now we are saying goodbye to one another. Yes, you may say we will still be meeting one another after the 'O's, when we are going to the different JCs. But how long can all these last? When you go to JCs, you will start to make friends, much as i hate to admit, all of us will start to drift apart.. and one day, we will lose sight of each other.. all we will be left with would be just fond memories of one another... i don't know what to say too.. i just hope that we can stay in touch as long as possible..

You have crossed my life, touched my life, and left a deep marking in my life. I won't forget all of you. I felt as if i am standing at the crossroad, and i saw all of you waving goodbye to me. I had lots to say, but words just simply couldn't come out from me. I can only wave hard back to all of you, while letting those tears stream down my heart. I saw the looks on your faces. You want to cry, you want to let it all out, but you just didn't want to worry me. All you can do is to smile and give me the assurance that you will be alright.

Had been staying up late for the last few nites. Talking to many whom i don't bear to leave. Each time they went offline, i shuddered at the thought of leaving them. I really cherished the nights we spent talking, accompanying one another. And i always say, "time seems to pass by very fast these few nights." Was it because the time was really passing by fast or was it because i didn't want to go?

4 years and i had now left xinmin. i was walking around the school days ago and i recalled those wonderful memories i had...i saw the times when the whole school was sitting in the parade square and cheering out loud during the national day interhouse cheer. i saw the times when my student leaders were scolded by us at the basketball court and the looks of all your faces. i saw the times when i was practicing the passing out parade with my sec 4 cadets under the sun.

I sat down at the coffee corner and let my mind wander back into the old school. The SL room, the field, my class, teachers... seniors.. memories and memories. Days that i cried for my SLs, got upset over the house matters... days that i went to volleyball matches and cheered out loud.. when i was in the staff lounge pouring out all my troubles... when i was so stressed over matters that i nearly attempt suicide... the times when teachers called me to talk to.. the times i stood at the old block and watch the sunrises and sunset.. all these seems neverending.

it's still flowing... hai zai liu zhe...

I don't know if you are crying after this entry of mine. But my friend, don't cry. It's not the end. I will still want to know you and i will still allow you to walk with me. Don't fear loneliness. Especially to my close friends that had come into my life. Though it's time to say goodbye, and the feeling is like starting another journey, knowing another lot of people. But i won't forget all of you that had make my life a brighter one. I won't forget you or you or you. A goodbye would mean a new beginning. Let's stay in touch. Ni men yong yuan dou shi wo de zhui hao peng you. Friend be strong. You are not lonely. Never. Remember, i will be the star at the darkest hour. =')

i will remember you hold my hands.. and i hold yours..

wo men da jia ba shou qian , wei ge yuan quan quan
quan quan wei de yuan you yuan , wo men bing bu gu dan

=')

Heli Dont ask me why 1:34 PM

"fang xing li kai wo, wo hui ji de zhe yi ke. na xie hai fei xiang zhe bu ke si yi de meng. yu hou de tian kong hui you xuan lan de cai hong xiang zui qiu jiu xiang xin zhe, wo hui zhao dao zhi you.. zhi you.. "

Someone asked me this today that if i would feel sad or happy since today's the last day of school. I told her, i will be sad, but i want to be happy. Since it's last day of school, i don't wish to let it be marked as the day of sadness. So i choose to be happy today. And i hope i did.

It was towards the end, all of us kept taking photos. I ran here and there hoping to get as many photos taken as possible. Because i can't capture the moment, but a photo can capture that moment in time. A lof of whom i took photo with are really those that walk in line with me almost all the time. A person can know many, but out of the many will know him or her? You can have hundreds and thousands of footsteps in your life, but how many do you recognise?

There are some that really make that special difference in my life. It makes me think back about the past when all of you started walking in. It has been a long way for some. Most of you had forwarded with me through the hard times. I used to think that it would be the best if things can last forever. But i guess those moments that can only last for a while are the best.

And so i had lots of things to say to many. Much as i wished to mention everybody, it would be a never ending case for me. But what i want to say is, whether anot your name was mentioned, as long as we you had crossed my path, i want to thank you for that.

[Suddenly felt so numb. I don't know what to carry on anymore. I would rather be sad then what i am feeling now. Maybe too many things being bottled up. All that adds up and make me feelingless now.]

Actually lots more to say. But i just don't know what to carry on. Perhaps there are so many things to say, and i can't just express them out.

Zhu ni yi lu shun feng

na yi tian zhi dao ni yao zou wo men yi ju hua ye mei you shuo
dan wu ye de zhong sheng qiao dong li bie de xing meng
que da bu kai ni sheng sheng de cheng mo

na yi tian song ni song dao zui hou wo men yi ju hua ye mei you liu
dan yong ji de yue tai ji zou song bie de ren men
que ji bu diao wo sheng sheng de li chou

wo zhi dao ni you qian yan ni you wan yu que bu ken shuo chu kou
ni zhi dao wo hao dan xin wo hao nan guo que bu gan shuo chu kou

dan ni bei shan xing nan xian xia na fen rong yao
wo zhi neng ran yan lei ku zai xin di
mian dai zhe wei wei xiao yong li de hui hui shou zhu ni yi lu shun feng

dan ni ta shan yue tai cong ci yi ge ren zou
wo zhi neng sheng sheng de zhu fu ni
sheng sheng di zhu fu ni zui qing ai di peng you zhu ni yi lu shun feng

All the best guys. =')

Heli Dont ask me why 3:54 AM

Wednesday, October 22

Leaving

Starting to lose concentration these few nights. For i know the time is coming. And it is coming fast. So fast that i find it hard to breathe. I spent nights thinking, wandering in my past. 4 years.. memories are flooding. As i turned back, i felt as if they are taking place once more. And its impossible and i will never bid goodbye to them. I admit i am a person that looks back all the time. But its when i look back, i truly know what to cherish in the present.

Took lots of photos today. Photos that captured the moment that will remain as history in future. Maybe humans just have to learn to let go. Whatever good things that happen to you, enjoy it. But don't have to hold tight to it, treat it as a surprise in your life.

The night is still young. In the darkness out there, my heart is disguised. If there's a way, i would rather wreck up my heart, than to ever make you cry. But there's no other way, than to say goodbye...

Look at the sky
What do you see?
Looks like the tears that i cry
Fallin' down like rain on the ground

Take a look around now
Why don't you feel
The way that cold wind stings and bites
like arrows through my heart

Pictures and pictures i find myself drowning in
The night is getting colder. Freezing cold.
Would you care to hug me tonight?

Heli Dont ask me why 2:57 AM

Tuesday, October 21

The step

Finally i took the last step. And i am even closer to Him now. The last step seems so to be so close, yet i had hesitated for months? But its all over now and its a new beginning, a new start. Peace of mind at last. And here's a very nice song which i had been listening over and over again for the past two nights. Time to get going. Good night to all. =)

Still

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are god

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust

I just wish you will be alright.

Heli Dont ask me why 3:14 AM

Sunday, October 19

Nobody is what i see
Fear is what i feel
Nothing is what i touch
The wind is all i hear
Alone is what i am

Endless replay
I cannot find the words to breathe a little easier
I tried sealing up the emptiness inside me
With lies built on top of lies
All that did was to break my heart a little further
I don't know how to feel anymore
I have tried finding myself in the eyes of the another
Only to be met with the same old blank stare
So many times
That i feel close to nobody
Not even the people i should

Are you still right beside me?

Was it me who choose to go, or was it you who choose to leave me?

Heli Dont ask me why 2:28 AM

Saturday, October 18

I wrote your name at the shore today.

I went to punggol end today. Was bothered by some thoughts but i can't figure out what's that. So i decided to throw away those life outside and get myself into a peaceful place. Just simply staring at the sea, watching the boats move about, does the work. I walked around the shore too and wrote lots of names on the shore, but i bet it's gone now.

Left the shore after feeling much better. When i was on the bus moving out of the place, i realise that the journey out was much clearer, much faster than just now when i was on my way to the beach. Hm.. guess this is all in the mind. It isn't the length of the journey that had changed, probably my mind was more cleared and therefore things appeal to me quicker and clearer.

"Sometimes one would choose to stand by the side and view the whole situation after getting involved. And she realised how nice the picture would be if she had not stepped in. Stuck. All she could do was to just plainly observe what's going on. Irony was this wasn't the first picture. Neither would it be the last."

Do you know what i am saying? It's okay if you do or not. I don't fully understand it myself either. =/

Heli Dont ask me why 3:29 AM

Friday, October 17

Dawn breaking

Everything that happens in this world is no absolute good or bad. Sometimes good things turned out to be bad things eventually while bad things become a gain.
Whatever good things that happen to you, enjoy it. But don't have to hold tight to it, treat it as a surprise in your life.
Whatever bad things that happen to you, don't have to be too sad or despair. In the end it might not be a bad thing after all.

Hope all of you can understand this, you will find life much easier. Though i think i couldn't understand it totally, or rather choose not to accept it, i hope you guys will. Life is short, make it a beautiful one people. Just like the dawn, it isn't forever. =)

If she's still around, never forget to love her more than ever..
And if she's not, remember her unconditional love..
Always remember to love thy mother.. because you only have one in a lifetime.

Heli Dont ask me why 5:26 AM

Thursday, October 16

When you push me away, i felt that sting on my face...

I didn't fall, it's you who refuse to pull me up...

I am like living in a world full of strings.. full of kites.. and all of you are high up in the sky.. Just one cut, and that will be the end. Even if it doesn't, you're just getting further and further away.. i had lost sight of you.. It seems like there's nothing i can held on to..

It's too quiet. I can't hear anything but the screamings in my head.

I need a comfort, i need a shelter.. where are you? who are you? =/

Heli Dont ask me why 4:15 AM

Wednesday, October 15

Small little leaf.. drifting.. drifting..

Another night of late sleep. think i am gradually used to sleeping late le. 19 more days to o's. Had been counting the days everyday. It's not the o'levels that i feared only. It's the fear of parting with my dear friends soon. I was talking to them during our breaks today and i commented that, i wondered when will be the next time when we will sit down together and have our meals together. i mean after the o's of course. Hm.. perhaps i am more of anti-social. It's tiring to start new friendships again. Hm.. think too much again ba.

Heli Dont ask me why 1:39 AM

Tuesday, October 14

Distant

Wonder why is it that i had turned not to be so competitive.. i had learnt not to compare much to others.. and all of a sudden, i felt that so many are fighting hard to push each other down. or probably i am thinking too much once more. So tired. mentally tired. Is it all a ploy.. or was it i am just suffocating myself..

Dad's 47th birthday today. Hm.. managed to summon my courage to wish him in the morning. Nothing much to say too. hadn't been a filial daughter i guess. Talking lesser to him lately too. Busy with my studies, he busy with his stuffs. excuses.

When a person falls, it's so difficult to stand up once more. It takes courage, it takes time, it takes determination. But this is a hard one. I am trying. Don't give up on me. =/

Heli Dont ask me why 2:59 AM

Monday, October 13

He announced it already. And when he announced, i saw the smile slowly disappearing from my brother's face. Mine too. Lost. Loss for words too. Though we already knew it, the news just hit me real hard once more. I stopped my face from frowning, in case anybody looking at me, and sense the agony.

Realised that the whole gathering, my bro and me sort of alone. The rest of them are talking, chatting happily among themselves. I sat at a corner and watched the tv. He sat at a corner and watched tv. Perhaps i really kind of anti-social. but who cares.. sometimes i feel that this family had come a long way and that the fact it's such a big group, we are still able to maintain such good relationships, it's pretty wonderful. But then again, i shall never able to forget how they treat her as. The way they looked at her, the way they whispered things to each other.. never. It's too late to treat me better or rather pity me. I don't need it.

Dad enjoyed a lot just now i guess.. been a while since i saw that wide smile all over his face. That's good. But i wondered too, if it would be better if she's still around. And then the uncertainty if dad would still be happy if she's there. Argh.. i don't know what am i talking too.

Celine Dion - Goodbye's

Mamma
You gave life to me
Turned a baby into a lady

Mamma
All you had to offer
Was the promise of a lifetime of love

Now I know
There is no other
Love like a mother's love for her child

And I know
A love so complete
Someday must leave
Must say goodbye

Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

Mamma
You gave love to me
Turned a young one into a woman

Mamma
All I ever needed
Was a guarantee of you loving me

'Cause I know
There is no other
Love like a mother's love for her child

And it hurts so
That something so strong
Someday will be gone, must say goodbye

Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

But the love you gave me will always live
You'll always be there every time I call
You offered me the greatest love of all
You take my weakness and you make me strong
And I will always love you 'til forever comes

And when you need me
I'll be there for you all the way
I'll be there all life through
I'll be there this I guarantee

Mamma, I'll be
I'll be there through the darkest nights
I'll be the wings that guide your broken flight
I'll be your shelter through the raging storm
And I will love you 'till forever comes

Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

'Till we meet again...
Until then...
Goodbye

Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

Heli Dont ask me why 1:48 AM

Sunday, October 12

Today...

Having my amath mock now. Completed the paper le. Quite managable la. Done 1 round of checking le and decided not to give a damn about it le. Hand feeling very cold now. Probably because fan directly over me. Stupid though. Writing this. Don't know what to write too. These few days, especially last night, felt so odd and terrible. Don't know what the hell i was angry at and had an urge to fight yesterday sia. For no reason, no nothing, my fists just feel uneasy. Wonder does it got to do with me leaving school soon. Two weeks. Nights ago, there were still 3 weeks.. bah.. now 3 weeks left...
Before i left house today, went to listen the song - Goodbye. At that instant, feeling of leaving really scared me. It isn't only me i guess. And as i am writing this, another song just keep playing in my mind too. ".. i wish i could be every little thing you want.. all the time.. " ... don't know what to say.. what to do..
I scanned across the whole room, some sleeping, some busy scribbling.. can't help but keep remembering the fact that i am going to lose them soon. Was it me being too emotional, arh.. i always do. Hm.. out of so many, some of them i really really gonna miss. And the list doesn't stops here. There are my juniors.. npcc, sl.. teachers too. Funny, it isn't life and death kinda situation, yet i am viewing it like one. 2 weeks. no.. 5 school days. bah.. life sucks.

*sensored*

".. for those of you who have finished and checked already, you can hand in your paper. Write your band on the paper. band 1 put there. band 2 here. leave quietly. "

Stop writing le la. Hope today is a good day. =/

Heli Dont ask me why 4:20 AM

Friday, October 10

Raindrops.

Come across this picture. Picture speaks a thousand words i guess. Though its look quite ordinary, guess to me, its more than that. And somehow could just relate my thoughts, feelings with this picture. How should i explain that..? It's not the feeling of sadness, not completely loneliness.. and its not just about me.. people.. raindrops.. just.. don't know how to put it into words. Any idea what it means?

Night so young, so cool. Ages since i last saw a sun rise. Closing to 2 am in the morning. Everyone's sleeping. Have been staying till around this hour for this week. Feeling so tired now. Time to sleep too. Wan an.

Every little thing

Let me in
to see you in the morning light
to get me on and all along the tears they come
see all come
I want you to believe in life
but I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
will you find out who you are too late to change?
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
some times

lift me up
just lift me up don't make a sound
and let me hold you up before you hit the Ground
see all come
you say your all right
but I get the strangest feeling
that you've gone away- you've gone away
and will you find out who you are too late to change?

I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
some times

Don't give me up
don't give me up tonight
or soon nothing will be right at all
salvation
will you find out who you are too late to change?

I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted

Heli Dont ask me why 1:55 AM

Tuesday, October 7

Locked

I think i prefered black and white pictures. Weird. Somehow just able to project some sort of feeling that it captured something forever.. and that moment just stayed there forever. Black and white. Would you prefer colour or just black and white?

Exactly 4 more weeks to my o levels. Beginning of year was still chatting with my friends, "hey.. still can't believe we sec 4 le.. ". It's really the final lap le. Final rehearsal ba. Things weren't too well for my prelims and i can't afford to do so in my o levels. Hope things just fall into place ba. =)

Cold and silent night. Actually, every night is the same. Sometimes just feel that loneliness. But i thought, what's there to be lonely about? I believe many of you are studying real hard for the exams. All the best people. Lucks. ;)

Dan ni shang xin shi wo chong ni kai xin.
Dan ni mei li qi shi wo gei ni wo de li qi.
Dan ni fang qi shi.. wo jue dui bu hui fang qi ni.
Ni yi ding yao jia you wor! wo yong yuan dou hui zhi chi ni. Yi ding.

Heli Dont ask me why 12:42 AM

Sunday, October 5

Darkness before dawn

Lots to say.. lots..

To those having exams soon: I guess most of you are. I said a lot to many. And i know it's hard for you to try and listen to what i said. No matter how many thousand times i said, just like you guys had talked to me about my mum, it's hard to get it into you. But one thing that's comforting is, this battle is not only you and the exams. Look around you, your friends, classmates.. they are all facing it together with you. You need not feel lonely, and don't despair. Walk side by side with your friends, and face this together. Throw away those dark and disturbing thoughts, don't let it affect you. Hang on. Da jia yao yi qi jia you. Jia you. =)

To those who are in the dark: I hope this entry serves as a comfort to you. Tonight seems to be a time when i felt that many of you are lost.. loss at what to do too. I don't know what you are currently facing, but i just hope that you will feel a little better after reading this. Everytime when we fall into a pit, everything around us just suddenly turn black.. very dark. And then you feel like tearing.. and you wonder why have you fall.. my friend, be brave. pull yourself out of the pit you are in now. I too had fallen into one. And i am struggling to get up now. And during the struggles, there will definitely be attempts that failed. But you should never give up. Once you give up, you will be stuck in this forever. You yearn to see the light right? I can't wait to.. and i shall never give up. Look forward to the light. Take it as a motivation to push yourself even harder.. even harder. You will see the light soon. If i have the strength, i will be down there to help you get up. I will. =)

Friends,
When you meet with difficulties.. do not give up..
I agree life is ugly, but it can be beautiful too.. and we should cherish it..
It is not the length or breadth of the road that matters..
It is how interesting the journey can be..
This song specially for all of you.. whether or not you are facing any problems.. and suddenly i just want to say something which i have said to some of you before..

" have dreams in my life that may never come true, travels i may never take, goals i may not be able to reach, and hopes that might always be just beyond my horizons. But i want you to know that whether my wishes come true or whether they disappear altogether, i will always feel like one of the luckiest person in the world...
Because i have a friend ~ in you. Take care my friend. (",)"

Shu Guang - Sharon Au

mei dan wo hen bu kai xin de shi hou
wo zong ai dui zi ji shuo
zhe shi jie bu shi xiao xiao de wu yun
tian kong hao an hao yuan
bu jing guo han dong na lai mei hua xiang
mei you li ming zhe me hui you shu guang
ren shen de dao lu qi qu duo ping dan
hai bu shi yao zi ji qu cheng dan

deng dai tian liang, qi dai shu guang
jiang xing zhong ying man dou zhao liang
jia lu quan shi jie bu zhai you hei an
wo de shen ming hui bu hui geng can lan

deng dai tian liang, qi dai shu guang
jiang xing zhong ying man dou zhao liang
jia lu quan shi jie bu zhai you hei an
wo de shen ming hui bu hui geng can lan

shui neng gou zhi you kuai le bu bei shang
yu dao chuo zhe bu qu she
ren sheng de lu tu zhe yang de bian hua
yao kao zi ji de an duan
bu jing guo han dong na lai mei hua xiang
mei you li ming zhe me hui you shu guang
ren sheng de dao lu qi qu duo ping dan
hai bu shi yao zi ji qu cheng dan

deng dai tian liang, qi dai shu guang
jiang xing zhong ying man dou zhao liang
jia lu quan shi jie bu zhai you hei an
wo de shen ming hui bu hui geng can lan

deng dai tian liang, qi dai shu guang
jiang xing zhong ying man dou zhao liang
jia lu quan shi jie bu zhai you hei an
wo de shen ming hui bu hui geng can lan

"Our road of life is tumultous, but we have to travel along it.. "
"In every life there will be joy as well as sorrow.. "
"There will be darkness, there will be light.."
"We all grieve when we encounter problems.."
"And we rejoice when there's happiness.."
"It's up to us to decide how much life's twist and turn affect us.. "

wo de shen ming hui bu hui geng can lan..

Heli Dont ask me why 12:28 AM

Friday, October 3

Unusual happiness

Haha.. if you see me smiling away like nobody's business, don't start thinking i am mad. I am just happy.. more than happy.. Was it because of the honeydew i ate that gives me the honey effect? haha.. or was it because one of you thought of me today? anyway.. haha.. i am really smiling.. smiling.. And i think it's good! did you smile today??

When a person smile, everything seems to fall into place perfectly. Things will go the way you want it to be. Even if not, you will ultimately see the alternative way.
But when a person frown, you will find that everything seems to be going wrong. You get frustrated or upset over things easily. And when good things happen, you don't rejoice over it at all.

So, isn't smiling a good thing? Actually, nobody likes to hang out with a moody person. Really. Everybody prefers to hang out with those smiling, those feeling happy. So be happy alright? And since i am overwhelmed be happiness now.. haha.. i am thinking of so many of you.. and that i wish that, when i think of you, you will be smiling. =)

Passed by so many people today..
Faces and faces of others..
It had clearly shown how life's been
Faces of tiredness, eagerness, loneliness...
Can you find a genuine simle out there?

Is my smile a real or a fake today?
I am smiling like everything now..
Does it matter if it is real or fake?
Smile that brought life, motivation, laughter..
Can you detect it?

haha.. i am still smiling. So, are you the one who send me the smile today? =)

Heli Dont ask me why 7:48 PM

Thursday, October 2

Pure emptiness

Just felt that bit of loneliness, that bit of emptiness, that bit of sadness... i cannot understand why am i feeling this way when there are a lot of people just standing behind me... or were they just pillars of fake wall.. was it just an illusion that doesn't exists in the reality.. tonight seems especially gloomy, especially cold, especially quiet. Can't seems to get things done. Clear mind.. i need a clear mind...

I screamed.. but i could only hear the faint echos.. where has the crowd gone.. the forever bustling crowd.. was "forever" just any other fairytale? constant assurance was what i depended on perhaps to get on with life.. but it seems that i had lost touch with it.. i am screaming.. screaming weakly.. can you hear me...? ni ting dao le ma...?

zhong shi yi chi you yi chi bu xiao xing
zhou jing bei shan the shui li..
bu shi shuo hao bu qu bu shan
zhe me shuo le dou bu shuan..
wo zhai zhe li zhou zhe..
ni men hai zhai ma..
wei she me ni meng yue lai yue yao yuan..
bu yao zhou zhe me kuai..
wo kuai geng bu shan le...

Heli Dont ask me why 11:09 PM

Wednesday, October 1

Night Sky

Would you like to be in the company of others all the while? Or you feel as if sometimes you just want to be alone? Let me tell you a secret. When you walk away silently, i will be standing behind the wall. Not peeping, not eavesdropping. I am just waiting for you to call out for me. =)

Heli Dont ask me why 12:23 AM

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